❤ delph delph wants to focus (:

2010-04-21T16:40:00.001+08:00

Besties for life :
Shannon Lim Pei Shan
Adeline Tan Peck Ying
Linda Ang Kiat Ying.

Thankyou for letting me be sure of who my besties are.

2010-04-21T16:37:00.002+08:00

Today is a special day to me.
Cynthia and I ended our bestie friendship.
Reasons?
Misunderstanding?
Doubts held in the heart?
But, there is no turning back now too.
No point too.
I think I am being dumb.
She had been good.
& I don't wish to say more here
since here is public.
Goodbye.

Happy 3rd monthsary

2010-04-13T17:52:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 3RD MONTH-SARY to the KAZU FAMILY~
Thank you for coming to my office just to send
the kou rou fan for me to eat.
You are the best~
Thank you for all your love and care.
Thank you for all the infinity "I love you"
you told me, just to make me feel secure.
Thank you for always giving in to me.
Thank you for all the things you sacrifice for me.
"I love you" is never enough for me to express how i feel.
I can only confirmly say,"No one will love you more than I do."
Many months to go o~

2010-04-12T15:15:00.000+08:00

After being bugged to blog for a long time by bestie & sor zai,

I decided to take some time off to update.

I was thinking that my blog is kind of dead,

so I never think much of updating tho.

I had also been busy with work and the chapalangs~

So, please pardon me if you are a fan of my blog.(which I don't know who.)

I have not been feeling well tho.
My foot still hurts and I can't wear shoes.
I can only wear slippers. :(
And everyday I am wearing the slipper boyf bought for me when
my heels' strap broke.
There is still a moderate big lump on my foot there which
is still painful when touched.
And it affects my nerves.
When I scratch the toes, there is barely much feeling.
As in it is different from the left foot's feeling?
It is like "ma-ma" like that?
Sigh~!
This few months, I seems to be kind of clumsy.
Hitting this and that,
falling down here and there.
Maybe that is because of the SUPER EXCESS FAT in me. :((
TAOYAN~! no matter how I try, it is like that. SIAN!
Find myself really HIDEOUS! YUCKS*
I am starting to hate myself.
From head to toe. :(
Don't even want to camwhore or look too much into the mirror.
pukes*
Whatevver =.=
Between me and boyfriend,
it is good and yeah as loving as before. :)
that is the best boost for me. :)

his dad isn't doing well and everyone are so worried.
I am also very worried about it.
he had been a really nice daddy to me.
he always praise me and approves me to be together with boyf.
I really pray hard that he will be alright.
And i will not doubt it.
I want people to be able to see God through his problem,
and I believe in the name of Jesus. :)
Jiayou, Schirmer Dad! <3

I had been feeling lethargic all these while.
Sleeping around midnight,
waking up early in the morning..
going to a boring place to work.
the only thing i like is the pay at least. =.=
and there are only 6 people working together.
that means less politics.
or maybe the air con lo?
sigh! sian! office job is never my type of job.
not even once. :\
but for my studies and building fund,
i will stay on.
i have alot to pay.
my bills, my boyf's stuffs, dad and mum&building fund.
sigh! no rest.
mon-fri work, sat- service, sun- boyfriend.
I am kinda tired out.
I want to rest but i also want to catch up with my bestie,
best-y and best-tee and boyf.
it is kinda hard, but worth all my time.
i really need to schedule my time properly.
PHEW.
I hope things will turn out well for everyone.
Off I go,
update another time. :)

2010-03-13T03:55:00.002+08:00

Happy 2nd month-sary! ♥

2010-02-23T01:35:00.000+08:00

THANKS FOR THAT PUNCH.
you fucking idiot.
cb.

2010-02-17T01:49:00.002+08:00

When your words are so hurtful that I turn a dead ear.

No matter what I do,
it will never be enough.
No matter how hard I try,
you will never acknowledge it.
To you,
results are the best explanation.
Kill me then.
I really can't be that perfect daughter of yours.
I may not do a lot of housework.
But,
I did pack medicine into the capsules so that you can eat.
But you say you DON'T NEED.
And when I did not do so,
you say I can't understand you.
I do pedicure for you.
You say you DON'T NEED.
And when i did not do it,
you say I don't care about you.

Sorry mum, but it hurts.

I know I always turn a deaf ear.
I just do not know what to do.
I don't want it to affect anymore.
Going to the mirror,
telling the mirror image of me
that "I am pretty, I am worth of goodness." daily is tiring.
And after I do it,
just a sentence from you,
can drop all my confidence,self-worthiness, self-esteem
to drop ZERO.
I am scared.
I admit I am just an insecure girl.

Being with such a suave prince,
someone who is so respectable,
someone who is so nice and good character,
I am disappointed with myself as well.
I feel that I am not worthy of him too.
I feel that I am not good enough too.
But, I am trying.
Trying really hard.
But.... you will never understand.

In your eyes,
I am just that.
I am someone who is unworthy of goodness.
I am someone that even if I want to go and "sell", no one will want.
I am someone who will never be loved.
I am someone who can't last long in relationship,
because I am too fat for them and they will turn their hearts away from me
when they see the world more.

Sorry, it hurts.
Really.

I chose to turn a deaf ear. Sorry. Forgive me.

2010-02-13T15:33:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY ❤

It is our one month :D
This one month had been really great.
A month we open up ourselves
and to know each other better..
Clearing of doubts..
Trying out things we never did before.
I can only say that as time goes by,
my love for him is more and more.
Although lesser smses,our hearts are still close.
I call this,
" The Power of chattering hearts "

The two ultimately turning into one.

2010-02-09T10:51:00.002+08:00

I am sorry that sometimes I get a lil' jealous,
thinking that someone else can make you happier than I could.
I guess it's my insecurities acting up.
Because I know that I am not the prettiest,
smartest or the most fun and exciting girl.
But I do know that no matter how hard or long you look,

YOU WILL NEVER FIND SOMEBODY THAT
LOVES YOU LIKE I DO. (:

No idea why I am feeling that bad.

Maybe of what my mum said and stumbled me?
Maybe my insecurities are acting up?
Maybe I am just someone who is selfish enough to only want
undivided attention?
*ponders*

2010-02-02T23:37:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 300th posts! :D
dedicating this post for SCHIRMER JOEL JONATHAN. (:

He is my miracle..
He is my light..
He is my guidance..
He is my confidence..
He is my strength..
He is my reason to love..
He is my proudness..
He is my love..
He is my prince..
He is my dearest..
He is my bestfriend..
He is my boyfriend..
He is my listening ear..
He is my sword..
He is my shield..
He is my heart-mender..
He is my blanket..
He is my partner..
He is my precious..

He is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with..
He is the one I want to walk down the altar with..
He is the one I want to help fulfill his dream..
He is the one I want to walk through thick and thin with..
He is the one I want to see again even in heaven..
He is the one I want to hold his hands forever..
He is the one I want to have him to myself forever..
He is the one I want to cling on to till the end..
He is the one I want to go the highways and the byways for..
He is the one I want to give all of my best..
He is the one I want to understand from the tiniest thing..
He is the one I want to entrust myself to..
He is the one I want to make things work no matter how tough it is..
He is the one I want to treasure always..
He is the one I want to support always..
He is the one I want to see him through all his days..

I had gave him my mind..
I had gave him my heart..
I had gave him my soul..
I had gave him my support..
I had gave him all that I could and couldn't..

But to me, it is never enough~

I will make things work, together hand in hand with him.
Even if it is really tough.
Yes, no matter how hard it is.
I will persevere, because of him. (:

Prince,
I want you to know that I will be alright out here.
I know you are really working hard in NS.
I understand you really wish to be there for me all the time.
I am here , baby!
I will always be..
Thank you so much for appearing in my life.
Thank you being the burglar who breaks into my life and steal my heart
yet clumsily left yours in replace of mine.
Your heartbeat beats in mine.
You had been really wonderful.
What more can I ask for?
I know one has his flaw :D
And I have it too!
Didn't you try to accept it too?
So will I!
You had loved me when I am at the ugliest.
And I will become the type of girlfriend whom will match up to yours,
though I know you don't mind it at all. =X
Maybe people call this pride, people call it ego.
But I call it the motivation to keep improving.
I am a perfectionist in disguise! :D
And I am a selective perfectionist! :X
And you are the reason why I want to be~

Lastly,

I love you ♥

Agape,
Winnie-Delphine . F (:

2010-01-30T15:58:00.002+08:00

B.L.I.S.S

you say that the $100 that time is nothing.
because it is very little.
but it means alot to me.
Out of the little you have,
you still gave me.

Thankyou so much, really!
LOVE YOU,BOYF ♥ .

2010-01-29T00:53:00.000+08:00

boyf, jiayou inside camp o!
i will work hard together with you. :)

2010-01-27T13:27:00.002+08:00

SCREEEEEEEAAAMMMM!

I hope it helps.

i.miss.you

2010-01-27T01:15:00.002+08:00

I love my boyf. (:

he makes me feel like the Earth is made of love shape.

2010-01-26T10:39:00.002+08:00

The cramps are really not tolerable.

I can hardly walk.
Like seriously... jialat.
collapsed on the floor when i got down on the bed
because it is really painful.

not going for work today.
can't move much as well. :(

2010-01-25T22:57:00.002+08:00

Down down down down down....

Totally madness.
I had a bad day.
I had a bad stomach pain.
To make things worse, I had stomach cramps.
It is totally >,<
The upper and lower part of the stomach is in pain.
I still have to work.
When I see the food there,
I feel like puking.
I can already feel my body shaking when I am working.
Running up and down,
moving here and there,
standing up and down..
To make things WORST,
my mind aren't working well.
It is having wild thoughts.
Thoughts that I should not have.
A mindset that I should not have.
Stomach pain + Stomach cramps + Wild thoughts = HELL
Not only my physical body is upset,
even my heart is upset.
Had my whole day feeling disturbed and annoyed.
I am kinda tired.
I did not have a good sleep yesterday as well.
I really had a bad day! :/

As the status goes higher,
expectations will automatically go higher.
And when it does not match the expectations,
people are easily provoked and disappointed.

Are you disappointed in me? :(

Why am I so affected?
I shouldn't be.
Perhaps it is my immature thinking.

Maybe I didn't appear to be what you see me to be.

2010-01-24T13:47:00.002+08:00

I AM OFFICIALLY ATTACHED ♥

I am attached to SCHIRMER JOEL JONATHAN~!
He is my prince~!

2010-01-21T00:08:00.002+08:00

Take All of me for one of yours.

I think this is a kinda sentimental sentence
which was randomly shot into my mind.
Have you ever felt like you want to give away
all of yours just for one of the other's?
Like wanting to give all of yours to God
for one of His?
I feel it is very true.
I want to give all of mine to Him to
really seek His forgiveness,
His grace,
His love,
His touch
& His presence. (:

Even in the terms of relationship.
You want to give all of yourself to get him/her?
Sometimes even going through the highways and the byways.
You never knew you could do so much.
Because of love,
you are able to cross every barrier.
Because of love,
you are willing to take a step forward.
Because of love,
you will swim the ocean and cross the mountain.
This is how power love can be.
No matter how painful it takes,
you are willing to take it up.
just for love.

It is amazing, isn't it? :D

2010-01-20T01:16:00.000+08:00

My kor, Jeffrey, used 3 things to describe me.

The soap bar = delphine's sms that wash away the unhappiness.
wok = delphine's face that you see and then will be happy.
toilet bowl = delphine's sms that flush away the unhappiness.

Seriously,
I think it is really creative and sweet~
He is always full of funny ideas, JUST LIKE ME!
有其哥必有其妹! :D

Thankyou so much, KOR! :D

Another message I got was from Kyria Siah.
She sent me this message,

"Hello dear! Just wanna say that I appreciate
your daily night messages! (:
although we don't really meet up these days
but you're still a friend that I hold dearly too!
Stay happy and have a good night rest!
Let's catch up some time soon! *loves*"

I think it is really sweet of her to send me this message.
I felt really warm by it.

Although many people do not reply to my good night messages,
I think it is absolutely alright.
The purpose of me sending is to help the person I sent to,
to end their night well.
Just when your day was really hectic,
someone who should be there wasn't,
just want to tell you that you aren't forgotten!
I hope by sending good night messages to you,
you will feel more loved! (:

I think I had been a blissful girl,
knowing this boy which i called,"prince".
In his eyes, I am always so wonderful.
He always believes in me in whatever I do.
He trusts me totally.
He is just different.
So different that it feels like he jumped
out from the book of fairytales.
I always question myself,
"How can such a guy ever appear on Earth?"
Or perhaps when he appears,
he will only belong to those that are pretty,
which I am absolutely not.
I think he is really a gift from above to me.
The most important thing is that,
we have chattering hearts. (:
There are a lot of things we do not have to say it,
yet our hearts can sense it and interpret it. (:
I had been really happy and gained lots of confidence
after being with him (:

Thankyou, PRINCE! (:

2010-01-19T01:55:00.003+08:00

YES! I did it! :D
I have changed my blogskin!
Like........ FINALLY~
WOOhoooo!
I love this skin alot.
The picture may seems a lil' emo
like as if someone has left me.
BUT,
that's not the case. (:
I am very happy and satisfied already! :D
I had a good prince! :D

I went for interview today.
It is admin work at TT Bisso Salvage Asia Pte Ltd.
I really want to try this out man!
I think it can helps to gain experience.
This company do shipping and stuffs like that.
I will be totally NEW in this.
But,
I am willing to work hard!
I am willing to learn!
I really am!
:D
Jiayou,
MASHMALLOW-POTATO.Q! <3

prince,
I do miss you (:

2010-01-17T23:43:00.000+08:00

其实很多男孩子都不知道，

女孩子在冲他们发火后自己转过身却在不断啜泣。

实很多男孩子都不知道，

女孩子从来不会真正去生他们的气，因为她是真的喜欢他在乎他。

其实很多男孩子都不知道，女孩子只会对自己喜欢的男生唠唠叨叨，

也只会对自己喜欢的人耍性子。

你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，她根本不会来在乎你关心你，怕你做错事情。

你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，她根本不会对你发火不会冲你撒娇让你哄她，

在别人面前她都是淑女。

你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，你根本就没有本事让她哭泣，

让她即使生气也不会超过2天。

而这一切都只是因为她喜欢你，而这一切都因为你还不够在意她不够懂她。

　　
于是，你们时常争吵，你认为她脾气不好，她认为你不够迁就她。

于是，你们总是冷战，你以为她不喜欢你，她以为你不在乎她。

于是，你们总是莫名其妙的彼此错过，也许擦身而过，本身就是一种悲伤着的无奈与幸福。

　　
要知道，凄美依然是美的一种，并且美的绚丽悲凉而沧桑，那是更加的美。

因为她喜欢你，所以她偶尔冲你发火，时常对你撒娇。

因为她喜欢你，所以她才会生你的气；

而又因为喜欢你，她才不会去生气很久。

你可知道，每个女孩子的心都是水晶做的，晶莹剔透，但是很容易就碰伤摔碎。

你可知道，每个女孩子都是不设防的，你那么轻易就闯进她的心，走的时候却只留下伤害。

她从来都不知道，这个世界上根本没有可以让她哭的人，

因为真正值得她哭的那个根本舍不得让她哭。

她会很矜持，

她会很骄傲，

她会很冷淡，

她总是嘴里说着你走开，心里却一直叫你留下。

你了解女孩吗?

　　
请你张开你的耳朵，

也请你打开你的心，

去听她心里真正的呼唤，

而不是她嘴里的口是心非。

她会看着你转身，然后她跟着你转身，当侧身而过的时候，

你看不见她的泪，滂沱在脸上心里。

如果你喜欢她，请你多陪她；

如果你喜欢她，请你多宠她；

如果你喜欢她，请你多让她。

如果你喜欢她，请你去听听她内心的声音，那是呐喊——请拥抱她。

在爱情里，总是彼此伤害，彷佛这样才能证明自己爱得激烈爱到轰轰烈烈。

可是，爱情里没有孰对孰错；

爱情里更加没有你比我多我比你少。

你爱她，她爱你，如此就已经足够。

不要试图让彼此的伤害，让彼此更加脆弱悲伤。

你们彼此相爱，你们需要的是温暖是幸福是甜蜜是快乐，不是伤害。

不要用沉默宣战，不要互不相让，

更不要什么话都不讲就冷漠离去。

要知道，你离去的时候，你的眼睛起了雾，她的眼角泛着泪光。

越是安静战火就越深，这是冷战也是彼此的伤害——

无论是怎么的复合，那些伤口曾经存在，抹不去。

请跟她一个拥抱，用你的拥抱去化解她心里的悲伤与眼角的泪水。

她喜欢你，她绝对不会拒绝你的拥抱，她只会害怕你的冷漠转身无声安静。　
　　　
请记住，相爱的人不要轻易宣战，因为冷战带来的伤害，超出你的预计。

也请记住，只要你喜欢她，没有什么是你接受不了的，

只要你喜欢她，就喜欢她的一切一切。

那么她所有的小性子所有的坏脾气所有的臭毛病，在你眼里都是撒娇。

也请记住，她喜欢你，她需要的不是你真的转身，她嘴里说着的也不是她的真心话。

她只是想你宠她，想你抱她，哪怕，没有道谦。

2010-01-17T02:25:00.000+08:00

RECUPERATED <3

2010-01-17T01:14:00.000+08:00

I STUMBLED TOTALLY,
BROKE DOWN AND CRY.

Delphine,
It's okay,
tomorrow is gonna be alright
when you wake up. (':

2010-01-17T00:27:00.002+08:00

I am a lil' tired.
I am a lil' moody.
I am a lil' wavered.
I am a lil' down.
I think I will be alright.
I think it will just be today.

Did I really think too much?
I just don't know how to face it alone.
I don't know how to say it.
I want it to be in the light.
I want blessings.
I want to prove that we can make it.
I want.
I don't want to let go.
I don't want to be forced to make a tough decision.
I don't want to feel so terrified.
I don't want to make either party feel bad about me(again).

How I wish I can be a princess,
so that I can match up to prince.
How I wish I am strong in spirit,
so that I can lead him(at least).
How I wish and wish.
But it all seems so far.

Am I being a lil' emo here?
I guess I am.
I just couldn't control.
I can't seems to smile today.
My eyes are droopy.
My smile has turned to a frown.
I don't know why.
I just want to be stress-free.
That only happens when I am with you.
I don't want to care about other things.
I think I am really selfish.
REALLY SELFISH.
sigh!

sorry friends,
I just want to rant. =X

GOOD NEWS IS................
CITY HARVEST FINALLY FOUND A PLACE
FOR OUR CHURCH!
12,000 seaters!
WOOHOO~! :D

2010-01-15T02:12:00.001+08:00

To have you is the greatest bliss ♥

2010-01-14T03:05:00.000+08:00

I REALLY HAD A GREAT TIME WITH YOU

My choice and FINALE.

2010-01-12T23:01:00.001+08:00

I FINALLY MADE A CHOICE.

I want this man, ONG SHUI SHI,
OUT OF MY LIFE.
This is no longer just a talk or a try.
BUT, i am going to do it,
in a process of doing it,
and soon it will come to pass.
And i mean it.
It really will.
As soon as by Thursday.
Looking back at the days when I missed him,
dated with him, loved him, tolerated..
I wonder how I came this far.
Hershey pie and coke light,
all stucked in my mind.
Memories I used to hold dearly in my heart.
Days when I sleep wetting my pillow.
Time when I try to do the best to please you.
I was wrong, utterly wrong.
Or should I say, I was silly.
Knowing you love chip and dale,
I saved up all the little I had just to buy
the chip and dale puzzle for you.
Put it together on my own,
pasted it on a big puzzle frame,
writing all the birthday messages to you,
writing my blessings to you.
And all that you could respond was,
"I never wanted it from you even when we were dating."
I asked again,"You really don't want right?"
You said,"Of course don't want la!When you wanted to
give to me, when did i ever seems like i want it?"
That's it.
That was the last time I hand my 真心 to you.
And it ruined it.
Maybe not my real HEART,
but that piece i made for you,
every stroke was my blessing and love.
But, you can just "throw" it with words like that.
That's enough.
really.
you said you never needed anything from me,
and if you want something, you will use your own $$$
to buy it and wanted me to GET THIS CLEAR.
Yes, I got this clear.
But you get this clear too.
This piece is not made for you because you WANTED it.
It was done because I wanted to do something for you,
wanted to melt that ice heart of yours.
Want to help mend the broken pieces of your heart
back.
Want to erase that haunting experience you had in your birthday
with your ex.
BUT, ALL YOU COULD SEE, is only about YOU,YOUR thinking.
You can only judge from YOUR perspective.
Feel from YOUR own senses.
See from YOUR own eyes.
You never knew how self-centered you were.
But there I was,
never giving up.
Giving you as much as I could.
I can only say, I gave you all that I can ever hold.
Every single thing.
All that I had.
All i wanted was you to lay your eyes on me for once.
But, you will never.
in the relationship of 2years plus.
You never once had your eyes laid on me.
It was only when your "need" is met.
Sacrifice upon sacrifice.
And all you can ever say,
was all your "don't want"(s) and your "no"(s)
and "none of my business"(s).
All you can ever care is yourself.
Your heart,
your pride,
your ego,
your feelings
and your past wounds.
And all i do is useless to you.
It meant nothing to you,
from the start till the end.
(: guess it's all over now.
it already time to let you move out of my heart.
Maybe it was only the memories that held me back.
I was trapped in the memories,
in the true heart i gave that was stepped on.
Perhaps, I have long long ago no longer love you?
i don't know.
But whatever it is,
you are out of life.
for now and ever.
I will put guards all around my heart just to look out
for you and ban you from entering.
No more hershey pies and coke light because of YOU.
It will only be my likes and my wants.
I have chose to move on.
Since you have chosen to "throw" it away,
The puzzle will be burnt in front of prince.
I want nothing to do with you again.
Thank you. (:

2010-01-12T02:46:00.000+08:00

According to you

2010-01-12T00:54:00.002+08:00

Ever since he stepped into my life,
my life is never the same.
Seed starts to have roots,
leaves start to grow,
and flowers start to bloom.
No "i love you" is said,
but we can sense it in our hearts.
It is really like some kind of telepathy?
In Chinese they call it,"心电感应".
it is whereby, there isn't a need to speak in words.
There is some kind of weird affirmation deep down.
And you know what?
I have found the one who suit the "he" in song of According to you.

One of the sweetest thing i ever seen someone posting
online about me is from him,
"I met an Angel that wished me good night and gave me good dreams, took away my worry, and single handedly brought me to heaven…"

2010-01-10T23:16:00.002+08:00

Someone is reading my blog.
And really through all my posts.
He is prince (:
He uh he,
always say things that make my heart skips a beat.
It is just like having a Lamborghini racing in my heart.
HEH. You will never understand.

MY HEART JUST LITERALLY RACED!!

2010-01-10T16:06:00.002+08:00

Does He Like Me? Your Result: He Loves You GIRL!! this man is day dreams for a special little someone... YOU! go after him, and let anything happen! enjoy your love life! hmm i need more characters so i will ramble hi how are you this boy likes you goodday! and happy crushes! lol
he crushes over you... =)
he likes you
He is in Head Over Heals MAD Love for YOU!
he thinks your a total DOPE
Does He Like Me? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Serious? I dare not think.

what is your superpower? Your Result: fire manipulation Wow, you are hot headed and you have a good reason, you almost always are running a temperature. You cannot create fire, only control it, kinda good for whoever you're facing; who knows? You could get angry at your mom and kill her...
water manipulation
psycic
Technopath
what is your superpower? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I WON'T KILL lea.. TSK.

You are 32% controlling/perfectionist!

You are a very easy person to know. You usually go with the flow, and are really pretty ordinary. You trust other people to do a good job, and you don't have to be in control of everything. You don't sweat the small stuff, and you aren't very judgemental towards other people.

How controlling/perfectionist are you?
Take More Quizzes

OKOK only lo.
indeed a very easy person to know. (:
I am not ordinary! I AM EXTRAORDINARY!

What Were You Destined To Be? Your Result: Musician Your job is ment to be a musician.You will travel the world doing tours.You will become a music legend and people will love you for generations to come.
Comedian
Cartoon Creator
Actor
Teacher
Footballer
What Were You Destined To Be? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

WOW! musician!
That was one of my dream when i was in secondary school.
but i think it is drifting further and further lo.

What's your favorite color mean? Your Result: Pink pink- you're a girly girl. you live life happy and always have a positive attitude. guys adore you, but you can't keep a boyfriend long because other guys flirt and you flirt back. you're very flirtatious.
Yellow
Green
Red
Rainbow
Black
What's your favorite color mean? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

KAOS. indeed my colour is PINK.
BUT, i am not flirtatious and guys DON'T adore me!

What's Your Best Quality? Your Result: Out-Going Your best quality is out-going! People like you because you are fun to be around and no one ever knows what you will do next. Also you are not afraid to say or do whatever you want.
Personality
Ambitious
Sense of Humor
Loving
Intelligence
What's Your Best Quality? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

YES! THIS SURVEY IS PERFECT.
SO ME. :DD

Creativity

2010-01-10T15:37:00.002+08:00

Creativity : Not fear but FAITH.

This was just what I told Adeline on the way to service yesterday.
And Pastor Tan spoke about it.
heh heh :p
I was saying that actually everyone has their creativity inside them.
Just don't be so minded by what people are going to say about it.
Sometimes people are just too self-conscious.
They are afraid of what people will comment.
Personally, I too have many encounters of people finding
my ideas,
-lame
-joke
-not for used
-shameful
-embarrassed
-not good
and etc..

But, I never once give up.
I really believe that creativity is built in me.
I believe there will be people are there who feels that my
creativity is worth something.
I feel that people should be bolder to share their thoughts.
Sometimes because you are too scared,
you may just think that you have totally ZERO creativity,
seriously, impossible.
There sure bound to be some.
it is just how much. (:

SO,

DUDES AND BABES OUTTA THERE,
UNLEASH THE CREATIVITY IN YOU :DD

Angel

2010-01-10T12:39:00.002+08:00

Angel

This name was given by prince to me (:
I held it really close to my heart.
It is really something that kept me smiling.
The moment I think I could be of a help in his life,
I really felt like an angel.
Maybe to many people, this word,"Angel",
when people called upon you,
you will just take it as a joke and forget about it.
But, to me, it is really something that warms my heart.
You never know how a wonderful-sincere word said to you
can change your day and even life.
I really appreciate all these days of contact with him. (:
He always say I made his day.
I should say we lifted each other's day eh?(:
Because your words are seriously WORDS OF AFFIRMATION!
YOU JUST MAKE MY DAY and END MY DAY well YESTERDAY!
Thanks so much eh!

2010-01-09T12:33:00.000+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment   You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be.
Losing Someone
Being Alone
Where Your life is Going
Looked down on
Commitment
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz ,

This is a quiz I went to Prince's blog and found it quite interesting.
So i went to do it.
So this is my result!
HAHA :D actually it is quite true. *LOL*
Fun loving, energetic and cheerful!
Isn't it SO TRUE?
HAHAHA -laughs-
Adrenaline rushes and going out at night!
YES! I love to go and play and be out in the night with friends!
I will stay strong though (:

The BBQ

2010-01-08T01:10:00.002+08:00

BBQ @ Kovan with the greatest people!
s33 + N234 + all the friends~

It is really a great BBQ and a successful ones.
I manage to talk to EVERYBODY!
like sooo soo WOOHOO?!
HAHAHA :D

Chee long sent me home as promised!
YAY :D sooo happy!
how happy will it be to make a new friend
who keeps his promise and really put it into action!
VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! (:

Comparisons and naiveness

2010-01-05T13:12:00.000+08:00

Why are there always so many comparisons?

My mother will always compare me with others.
It really hurts especially she compare me with my best friend(s).
Compare my body shape,
compare my studies,
compare my status,
compare the amount of pay I have,
compare my walking style,
compare my study level,
compare compare compare!

Not just my family,
even the new people I met.
They will compare either.
Compare me with the girl friends I am with.
Compare body shape,
compare openness,
compare talking style,
compare attitude,
compare amount of smiles,
compare how one laugh,
compare how this and that.

Not just family and friends,
even teachers compare.
Compare results,
compare study attitude,
compare your facial expression,
compare how you write the words,
compare how you sit,
compare your life span of attention,
compare and compare and compare.

I really detest comparison.
It only makes me feel condemned.
Whenever I try to build my self confidence and self esteem,
comparisons will never fail to pull me down.
I think the reality will not be able to accept people
who are real in ALL their thinking and emotions.
And I find it very contradicting.
People claimed that they hate the masks people put on their
faces and fake their emotions.
However, the fact is that they themselves can't accept
the truth that people reveal & the true emotions that people show.
It just mark how selfish a person can be.

I think I am very naive.
The naiveness refers to my thinking that there is no truly
bad person in the world & everyone can be trusted.
How naive I can be?
This naive thinking was held close in my heart.
That is because I feel that everybody have a good and a bad side.
So no one will be totally bad.
I feel that everyone should have the chance to be trusted
even if he/she once cheated on others before.
I do not know why, but deep in my heart, I feel that
every person who cheated on others will really hope that
there will be that 1 person to believe in them.
I really don't want to judge them according to what they
ever done in their past.
I feel that they won't want people to look down on them
and compare them with people who have clean records.

I really don't like to be compared with people.
I do not want to lose that love in me and turn into a selfish person.
I don't want, really.

** I am just writing my feelings (:
*** I will lift it up to God and move on (:

2010

2010-01-01T00:21:00.000+08:00

My 2010 visions :

Spiritual :

1) Reach out to 5 friends.

2) Read through the whole bible.

3) Pray at least half an hour a day.

4) Bible study till victorious living.

5) Fast every Wednesday.

6) To be promoted to OM. =X

Personal :

1) Slim down 10kg.

2) Debt-free
- Pay all my bills and debts.
- No borrowing of money.

3) Get a good job.
-Currently waiting for the person to contact me on Mon for a job called QC(Quality Checks)

4) Save a total of $4,000,put aside for studies.

5) Try to put on fake eyelashes in replace of thick eyeliner.

6) No more AH-LIAN look.

7) Good countenance always.

8) To go into the next level of maturity.

Relational :

1) Forgive all the people who I used to dislike.
- Drop them a message of apology and tell them I am no longer angry with them and that
I have let go of the past.

2) Give my phone book's friends a goodnight message daily.

3) Do meet ups with friends at least once a week.

Cell group:

1) Step out of my comfort zone and mingle around with everybody in the cell group

2) Avail myself to help out in cg when needed.

3) Forge new relationships with one another not just Adeline and Shannon.

4) Be 100% accountable to Mingyao

5) Be teachable

Family :

1) BE a good testimony
- No more raising of voice
- Go home earlier like before 12am
- Buy / cook for them every sunday
- Help do the laundry
- Work and give them money
- Study hard and get my diploma cert.

Cosmoprof Academy

2009-12-23T01:00:00.000+08:00

I so so want to get a diploma in make up in Cosmoprof Academy!
It costs $3,424.00 !
It costs a bomb!
But still I think it is the line I want to carve my career in.
I think there will be many people who will object this idea,
but for once, I just want to study the things I want to.
I don't want to live by people's comments and judgment anymore.
It is tiring.
I just want to pursue what I have passion in.

P.A.S.S.I.O.N

It is so important.
Important to keep you going,
makes your heart burn!
It just gives you the fuel to run further.

p.s I just want to keep on keeping on!

The second clubbing

2009-12-16T00:37:00.000+08:00

This is a late post I wanted to post for a long time.
It is about the second time I went clubbing (:
Seriously, I did not have any fun.
Being watched like as if you were someone's burden doesn't feel good at all.
However,I think many couldn't understand.
Some say, "You think too much."
while some say, "Don't think so much la."
Sometimes I just want to go there and let down my hair.
I think in this modern society,
it is not easy to show your true self especially when there are so many people who are out there trying to find a chance to hurt you.
Sometimes, perhaps we had learnt to hide our true feelings too well that we lost ourselves, begin to be unsure of who we really are.
And that is when I think getting some drinks and dance in the club is the one of the easiest way to find out how you truly felt.
I feel that club is the place where people are more accepting and open to all types of people.
I know I am not good-looking, no one will want to tackle me,
but still, I can freely drink and dance the way I want.
No one will stop me, no one will say anything.
Perhaps because they could understand that we are just one of the lost soul who needs to do some findings of ourselves.
Seriously, I am not there to look for relationships or look at some kind of hunks.
I am just there to chill and have fun.
And to me, that is not a bad place.
Perhaps it is because I am too fat and ugly so no one will approach to want to know me as they aren't interested in me.
That's why I won't encounter much problems.
I remembered Juju was there together with Bestie, Best-Tee and me.
Quite some people approached Bestie and Juju.
So when Juju turned to me when approached,
I looked at them and say,"No."
I told her to tell them we are lesbians! :D
haha! what a way right? :)
I want to learn to dance!
Like those real nice and hot moves.
So what even if I am fat and ugly?
God was still blown away when He made me. (:
And I am satisfied.
I do not want to be always so unhappy with life.
Seriously, I feel that it just waste makes me waste my life away.
I do not want to shortchange myself anymore.
And I am moving forward (:

如果我再也看不见明天の太阳

2009-12-14T22:04:00.002+08:00

如果我再也看不见明天の太阳。。。

世界依然会转，
时间依然不会停留，
四季依然继续流转，
彩虹依然有七种颜色，
雨依然会下，
雷依然会那么响亮，
云依然会飘，
太阳依然会从东边升起，
朋友の生活也依然必须继续走下去。。

没有了我，
不好の：
可能少了些笑声，
可能少了些变脸动作，
可能少了些搞笑の话题，
可能少了一个朋友，
可能少了些糖果吃。。

但不要忘记，我从未是你の全世界。

好の：
少了些麻烦，
少了些劝我の口水，
少了些不安の心，
少了些猜测，
少了些担心，
少了些愤怒，
少了些我の牢骚，
少了曾因为我而拥有の沉重の心情，
少了些怀疑，
少了些必须拥有才能推动我の力量。。

摆脱了我の控制，这算是一种解脱吧。。

却
多了快乐の时光，
多了发自内心の微笑，
多了一颗更强の心，
多了一些勇气，
多了一个理由让你更加必须好好の活下来，
多了很多可以轻松の日子，
也终于可以耳目清晰了。。

没有了我，是不是比较好呢？(:

All my attention onto you

2009-12-12T03:00:00.002+08:00

I went for work at Tung Lok today (:
I always look forward to working there.
The reasons are :

The manager (Vincent) is nice to me.
The supervisor (Guo wen) is also nice to me.
The Uncle Pang is SUPER NICE to me.
Xiu lian is always so loving to me.
Adeline is there to work with me and hear my thoughts.
People there are super friendly.
I love service sectors.
I got alot of praise and from there, i found confidence and love. Really felt being treasured and noticed. (:
People there looks at the good side on me instead of the bad side.
They love my smiles.
They cherish me.
They welcome me.
They love me.
They always render their help to me.

(: yes, it is that much.
they make me feel, i am no longer that shadow. (:
that makes me feel that i am treasured and wanted.
I am praised by the manager that i am super popular,
and demanded.
He followed me to the tables i go,
even if it wasn't me who take care of the tables,
the people will talk to me and smile.
He said he got blown away.
He said it once to me on the phone,
and today, he praised me in front of EVERYBODY! :D
WOOLA LA!! <3

AND,
i suddenly felt so infatuated with this guy,
gosh. i just can't get my eyes off him~!
GOSH GOSH GOSH!
he is nice, to me la!~ (:
he is 24 years old.
but he told me he is single.
and i asked him why,
he told me perhaps it was because of his high expectations.
SO,
i think, no chance already. sadded.
a chef wanted to get my number for very long already,
but i always have no time to give.
hahs. perhaps this is what i call, NO FATE.
but, they are nice people la.
Today, he told me,"Since i gave you my number mean we r fren ledy."
WOOHOO! friends le!!
no more just work relationship!!
YAY!! :D
okayys.. enough of 发花痴! :DDD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANDY & MARLIN! :DDD
Tons of love to both of you!
hope both of you enjoy your birthday! <3

CLUBBING

2009-12-10T13:02:00.000+08:00

FINALLY,
I went clubbing. :D
POWERHOUSE! <3 size="5">
TOTALLYADDICTED!

This is my very first time.
Initially we were queue-ing at butter factory,
but it was a really LONG QUEUE.
after waiting for like 1 hours plus plus plus,
we decided to cab down to powerhouse instead.
There, was my kor and friends.
they were protective over ask.
he held my hands when he was leading the way,
my heart accidentally skipped a beat.
*i should not feel that way*
i hugged him.
my heart skipped another beat again.
*guilty*
i danced and danced. trying to pick up moves and enjoy.
but without alcohol, it is just not that easy.
So, i went to get the drinks.
At first, there was no kick,
but a few minutes later,
the kick came,
TADA! drunk!
& guesss what?
i lost my shoes.
so i was simply bare footed dancing the whole night!!
i went to the platform to dance,
and REALLY DANCE like CRAZY~! :D
the inner part of me was totally unleashed,
i guess i ran wild TOTALLY.
dance like never before! :D
it was super easy and natural for me.
I heard i fell down, and there the BALUKU on my head!
GOSH. it was REALLY painful okayy!!?
i think i was crazy.
i cried throughout and shocked some people.
adeline told me she was so shocked that
when she try to wipe my tears,
my tears seems to never stop flowing.
but seriously, i am really upset.
just that, i need to hide it and push it down my throat.
and this is seriously making my heart hard.
i can feeel like my heart is made of stone.
only sometimes to some people,
my heart become flesh.
sometimes, i bury so much that i find that i have lost myself.

okok!! back to clubbing stuffs..
i guess i made a fool of myself?
i heard that when denise was driving,
i went to open the door,
SERIOUSLY,
it was NOT in my memory AT ALL~
GOSH.
and what's more?
hmm. he drove me to yishun dam.
A REALLY NICE PLACE.
adeline and me were sitting there.
and there i am, still crying.
HAHA :'D
aftermath, i proceed on to linda's house.
After i woke up, the HANGOVER was MADNESS!!
The word,"Alcohol, vodka, tequila" and the sight of
anything that looks like it, even the nice glasses,
makes me PUKE!

Clement treated me for dinner at Vienna,
a super nice place which is at united square (:
a seafood buffet.
I love the food, really.
Thank you clement!! :DD

THE SMILE

2009-12-03T04:53:00.009+08:00

I want my beautiful smile back (:

It hasn't been a good time for me.

Thinking that I will fail both Marketing and MA,
then proceeding to being kicked out of school..
is really a torture for me.
A thousand litres of tears cannot even describe this feeling of mine.

Have you ever had this feeling like,
you feel like giving up,
but you can't?
Stucked in the middle, standing there helplessly?
You feel like a wondering soul on the street while walking?
Have that whole chuck of emptiness filled with fear and helplessness?

That is how i feel now.

up at this early morning 5.30am,
having this fear in my heart,
so traumatize by it.

P.s : i am still struggling hard to surface up from the deep waters.

Today i went for dinner with Ade, Linda,Feli, Austin, Marlin, Mingyao and Prissy at Central.
I drank Heineken.
Well well, yes,thats the reason you are guessing why (:
I don't wish to elaborate, though (:
We went for Zone PM,
without any doubt,
it is really GREAT!
a really power up one!
We learnt to pray with our heart. (:
Mingyao spoke to me (:
For once, i spoke how i felt on the spot.
I think it was the effect of the Heineken? LOL!
Just joking, he was really patient in listening to me.
That was why i spoke.
For the first time,
i talked about how i felt boldly.
but still gasping for air to ease that fear in my heart.
I guess i need time.
really. i need solutions.
i need help.
i need a listening ear.
i need love. (:

p.s GODISNOWHERE.

how did you interpret that?
is it God is NO WHERE?

The actual meaning is..
God is NOW HERE! (:

Peace (:

-thousands of TEDDY HUGS just attacked you! ♥

2009-11-26T23:38:00.002+08:00

I can only say, I am utterly disappointed.
Seriously.
I am speechless to what i heard.
Alright, enough of my dumbness.
yes, enough is enough.
I am tired of it.

*i don't want to elaborate more because there may be alot
of uninvited guests who will visit my blog*

2009-11-24T01:09:00.000+08:00

I went to work for the waitress job.
I was like, "SIAN LA. no clothes then sure very xia suay lo!"
But in the end it turned out well.
The tables I were serving were very nice.
I became popular just in one night.
A few people said,"你在这里の笑容是最多の。你の笑容很灿烂。"
I was really very happy (:
I do love to serve people because it gives me a fulfilling sense.
And the chef keeps on pestering me for my handphone number.
HAHA!
They never let me off.
They talked about it when I enter and exit from the door until I end work.
And one of the tables i was serving,
crowded around me and force me to give them my number,
They were like doing match-making. And i was like.. Ermmmm?!
And lucky me, I do not need to use that two spoons to serve the mee sua and yam paste.
All the gentleman helped me with it with their own initiative.
It got me thinking why such fatso like me gets attention (:
I thought only slim girls get all these types of things.
I am glad that I am not that ugly to the extent that people will not pay me a little attention.
LOL *grateful*
I can only say I am really fortunate.
So, the moral of the story is, SMILE

2009-11-20T10:07:00.002+08:00

Nowadays i have been very tight in my finances.
like.. again?
having ocasionally allowance like $4 again.
my family is really going down in finances.
it is all due to the house.
28k leh! HAIZ! where to find the money?
i know you guys may say do this and that,
but don't forget,
at the end of the day,it isn't me who makes the decision.
they do not want to sell the car because of the depreciation costs,i guess?
hmms. what else? cut away handphone line?
cutted one.
what's more? eeyer.

Never mind, faith. (:

Yesterday, i went to ngee ann city tower b to collect the 100 christmas cards.
It was really super duper heavy.
I phoned penguin to come and help me.
At first, i was asking him to pei me eat,
but he says he wants to go home straight.
I then started to tell him that the christmas cards are really very heavy.
i can't erally carry it home. :(
and to my surprise, he agreed straightaway.
He came to wheellock to help me with the box.
Bused home together.
He helped me to carry it all the way to my house doorstep.
Seriously,i am very grateful about it. (:
he came down all the way despite his sickness and tiredness,
Thanks for going the extra mile,penguin(:
i think you are the only man who treats me as a girl (:
*he did not let me carry the box at all even when he had to struggle to take
his ez link card when boarding the bus*
No other man will ever do that.
At least, till now?
But i remembered one person who once helped me take my bag willingly
on his intiative,That is Bryan Poon (: THANKS TOO! :D
Mr underdress helped me with my laptop also.
Xavier gets bullied by me and had to help me. haha. but he is nice la.
JUST NEED MORE INITIATIVE! HAHA! XD

I am selling Christmas Cards at $10 for 5!
please help me with the cards eh?
HEH! I need to gt 200 packages of 5 to be sold in 3 days.
HELP! please do help me promote too eh? (: thanks uh!

Stress:
-Exams
-Finances
-Fats
-Disappointment
-Mum's nags! ( and it always start when im going to have exams :( )

Happy:
-found a job (is gonna be tough but i want to be determined (: )
-penguin is treating me really nice (:
-best-tea is always supporting me
-best-tee is always trying to be with me and help me look for opportunities.
-today is my last day of school.
-i am coming back for cgm this week.

Misses:
-bestie
-S33
-CHC
-Michael Jeffrey
-best-tea
-penguin

26 Nov - 2 Dec is my EXAMS!
*afraid*
**concentrate**
no more shoppings.
but i need to get the christmas cards sold away asap so that i can focus ):
i know it isn't the right time to work,
i need money urgently. so ya. sorry.
I need to faster get rid of it (:

p.s i so want to do ZIRCA and DID :)

2009-11-11T11:38:00.001+08:00

The twenty dollar bill

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill.

In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you, but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the $20 dollar bill up.

He then asked, "who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "what if I do this?"

And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

"Now who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson," he said, "no matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value.

It was still worth $20."

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened, or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless ... and especially to those who love you.

The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.

"You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

Count your blessings, not your problems.

Never be afraid to try something new.

If you do not pass this on, you may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it can bring.

And remember.....

Amateurs built the ark.

Professionals built the Titanic.

For my friends........even if you believe you are special to no one else..

2009-10-24T14:28:00.002+08:00

I am at last back to post(:

i am actually speechless about what to say over such a huge
gap of not posting! :X

I have been chionging projects till 5 plus am for consecutive 2 days!
I think I am turning into a crazy panda! /@.@\
hurhur~ i really hope my hardwork will pays off.

FTWDK,
I am actually grounded from going out.
That includes going to church and cell group. :'(
But, i believe everything happens for a reason.
Nothing happens without God's permission(:

Talking about service and cg,
i went for cg last week.
Back to where i wanted to belong to..
The feeling is so strong.
Although there aren't alot of talkings and etc,
i felt ease.
At the very least, the family that i hope i can melt in is safe and sound.
They still lead happy life and cg still goes on well without me (:
The presence was tangible and both Adeline and I could feel it.
I guess the others felt it too ba~
Great everyone is doing well (:
Then i won't need to be bothered about not being there already eh? (:
i will peacefully study and get well.
Perhaps this grounded incident is a chance for me to take a break.
Have a break from worrying.
Have a break from feeling not needed.
Have a break from struggling the emotional attack deep in my heart.
Have a break, have a kit kat~ :D

I admit i am a green apple.
It isn't that i don't like my friends to successful or what, obviously.
It is just that i am just too low self-esteem and confidence.
I am kind of tired.
I want to escape to a world with people just like me.
No more no less.
I cannot deny I hate being a shadow.
Of all the bestfriends i have,
only with best-tee,
I no need to feel so no use.
At least, she is someone who get close to me on her own accord,
rely on me in some way or another.
Of course, i still love my other bestfriends especially BESTIE. :D
She is popular, pretty, nice and lovely.(which is good for her)
ever since that incident,
i started to drift from her.
we used to be distance apart yet heart close.
but now, even when she is just next to me,
the heart is still near,
but i can feel that she is no longer someone who needs me as much like before.
It isn't about whether she also tells me about her problems.
It is about I am no longer that someone significant whom no one can replace.
I used to be the one who knows things about her that people don't,
or should i rephrase, i thought i know everything but in the end,
those people around her know more.
I abhor the feeling when people question me,"She never tell you meh? she is your bestie what i thought?"
It just piss me off.
BUT, it is the PAST already.
i still love her like before.
even though it isn't all about me anymore,
or it never was ALL about me.
But, hmm.... oh yes.. (:
& i am happy for her, seriously.
for what she has got (:
& i thank her for all the things she had done.
She had sacrificed ALOT for me,seriously.
i think i owe her alot and alot.
even her mom.
no word can describe that gratefulness in me.
they gave me a helping hand when i am down,
when i need jobs,
when i am financially broke,
when i am hungry but is penniless,
when my ez link card has no more money and again penniless.
so so so much.
i am really thankful about it. (:
THANKS BESTIE AND BESTIE'S MOM! <3

Sometimes i really feel so

Not needed,

Unwanted.

ya, i mean sometimes. *grins*

Just want to write down a quote (:

"When you feel like giving up,
remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

but i am just afraid that the reason behind it
will be the reason i give up.
*back to be an independent girl *
what else?
will anyone wants and will protect me with action and not just empty words on his/her accord?
*wonders*

on a lighter note,
my family relations with each other is getting better (:

#FTWDK = For Those Who Doesn't Know

2009-09-23T23:35:00.001+08:00

THIS IS FOR MY BESTIE! :D

2009-09-15T00:46:00.000+08:00

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem, Almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class

And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again
If the jar was full... They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand

And poured it into the jar.. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced Two cups of coffee from under the table
And poured the entire contents Into the jar, effectively
Filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, As the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life..
The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions –

Things that if everything else was lost

And only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter Like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life..

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
Important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things That are critical to your happiness.
Playwith your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time
To clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand
And inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

2009-09-02T19:32:00.003+08:00

FUCK OFF.
ENDED.
DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED!

i wish i am with bestie now. :'(

2009-08-26T00:58:00.002+08:00

虽然是简单的形容
虽然是重复的动作
因为有你
让一切都变成不平凡

好想缝合你我手心
就这样牵着不开
有你陪伴
呼吸着有你的空气
就是幸福

ti amo te quiero
每一天都要爱上你
想着你沉入梦境
一张眼一清醒
第一个想到又是你

sa la he and i love you
我每天都要爱上你
少一天就会遗憾
陪着你的光阴
怎样都不算蹉跎

好想缝合你我手心
就这样牵着不开
有你陪伴
呼吸着有你的空气
就是幸福

ti amo te quiero
每一天都要爱上你
想着你沉入梦境
一张眼一清醒
第一个想到又是你

sa la he and i love you
我每天都要爱上你
少一天就会遗憾
陪着你的光阴
怎样都不算蹉跎
陪着你的光阴
怎样都不算蹉跎
永远都觉

2009-08-21T23:09:00.000+08:00

Love is about being able to accept the person totally.

But,

why my heart,

consists of fear and insecurities?

is it that he isn't the guy whom Daddy want me to be with?

2009-08-20T13:41:00.002+08:00

結果分析：[中酸性情人]:人妻情人
詳細分析：<妳的性格診斷書>
妳其實是一個敏感且富於同理心的「人妻」型女性。無論外表給人的感覺如何，妳其實很體貼、很溫和，即便天性直率，也相當厚道。妳像是一瓶後勁十足的好酒，剛開始不覺得有甚麼特別，可是會越陳越香，適合有耐心且懂得品味的人來欣賞。妳唯一難搞的地方是固執，自己堅信的事情，妳很難讓步，很多人以為妳好相處，其實妳有不肯妥協的地方。正義感十足且擁有包容力的妳，在人生的道...路上，當心變成他人私心下的犧牲品。儘管懂得進退與給對方空間，但是別忘了保護自己。

<中酸性愛情分析>
妳的賢慧與貼心，是一種隱性特質，表面上妳獨立且喜歡主導，不過骨子裡對於愛情的配合與容忍度卻很強，因此再艱辛的愛情妳都能繼續走下去。除非對方主動放棄，妳不會輕言分手。妳的忠誠度與其他女性相比，也算是比較高的，感性且敏感的妳，其實很需要愛情的肯定，愛情的溫度，更是生命中不可或缺的幸福。正因為如此，才華洋溢、任性自我以及異性緣好的對象，絕對不會是妳的真命天子，因為妳的自尊心受不了他人自私的折磨。平淡的愛情，才是妳的最大福報。通常妳的愛情運會有如倒吃甘蔗般，屬於越晚越好的類型。

<魅力診療室>
妳的特質是，無論多麼優秀強勢，只要一談戀愛就會變笨。學著在愛情的世界裡多為自己盤算，會比較快樂。在裝扮上，換些時尚些的裝扮，或是嘗試一些平日沒考慮過的穿著，也能讓人驚艷。

I blogged this here because i think it was so true.
& ya.
just to keep it in my memory blog.
who knows i may lost my memories in future?

2009-08-19T09:48:00.002+08:00

The story showing that money is not the main thing.

It is love.

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... heartbroken, the guy agreed.

When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hard work and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company...

"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!"
One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!

Before the guy can realize, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... and he saw his precious paper cranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb. Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... therefore she had chosen to leave him.

She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.

A tragic story that perhaps happens only in the movies. At the end of the day, money is money but love is divine. In our quest for our material wealth, take time to make time for our loved ones. There will be a time when we have only memories to cling to.
Take this weekend to show our "love" to all that are close to us.

2009-08-15T10:57:00.002+08:00

You MUST watch this!

What do you do when you fall?

2009-08-14T10:21:00.003+08:00

A story of how words of anger and impulse can do.

A girl in love asked her boyfriend.

Girl: Tell me. Who do you love most in this world?

Boy: You, of course!

Girl: In your heart, what am I to you?

Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. It was said that God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep, God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life, you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."

After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while.

However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems, their life became mundane.

All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.

One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house. At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!"

The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted, "Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"

Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while. He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined in breaking-up.

Before she left the house, "If I'm really not your missing rib, please let me go." She continued, "It is less painful this way. Let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners."

Five years went by...

He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country and back. She had married a foreigner and divorced. He felt anguished that she never waited for him.

In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day, they finally met. At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good byes. He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them. She smiled at him gently.

Boy: How are you?

Girl: I'm fine. How about you? Have you found your missing rib?

Boy: No.

Girl: I'll be flying to New York in the next flight.

Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back. You know my number. Nothing has changed.

With a smile, she turned around and waved good bye.

Good bye...

One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York, in the event that shocked the world.

Midnight, once again, he lit his cigarette. And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew. She was the missing rib that he had carelessly broken.

Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury. Most often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and detrimental. We vent our frustrations 99% at our loved ones. And even though we know that we ought to "think twice and act wisely", it's often easier said than done.

Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control. Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives.

Tomorrow may never come. Give and accept what you have today.

2009-08-12T22:52:00.000+08:00

Are you really in love? Or do you think that you are in love?

There is a big difference between love and infatuation. Some people can't tell the difference, thinking they are in love but really it is a deep infatuation. Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy.
There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away.

Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying.
But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."
Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart.
Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up.
It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning. The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

INFATUATION

Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love, though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the emotions and the will are involved. Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love.

Guys, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint?
This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction. often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus, infatuation is mostly biological. Also remember, never tell a girl you love her, unless you are willing to marry her.

Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless.Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and the feeling than it is in the other person.

Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get.. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person.

Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation.
This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if
you are truly in love.

LOVE

Now you know what is infatuation, we will go on to discuss about the details of a true love. Love is patient. The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for the fulfilment of expectations.

When you have difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view - maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding.

Next, have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, is willing to give a relationship time to grow at a natural pace.
It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.
Love is Kind Love seeks to encourage and build up others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others..
It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy.

You can do the following:

1. Give one another things such as gifts and encouragement cards.

2. Compliment one another. Magnify the other party's strength.

3. Listen to one another. Pay close attention to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important.

4. Treat one another special in public. Compliment and encourage one another sincerely in the presence of others.

5. Love is Not Jealous. Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement, "If he is going to talk to her, then he can just forget
about me!" Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.

6. Love is not about bragging. Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself! Others will exalt him.

7. Love is Not Arrogant. Love is not conceited, boastful,cocky, or stuck-up. Love, instead, is humble and has a servant attitude. Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an "I can take you or leave you" attitude. His demeanour implies, "You ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating you." Of course, this is not love.

8. Love always covers. This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential.

9. Love is patient with the faults of others. It doesn't criticise and broadcast to the world the faults of others.
Love is there even when it knows the other is not perfect.

10. Love always Perseveres. Love always stands its ground and hold out. It will outlast anything. It will even love in the face of unrequited love. Real love will last though all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.

11. Love is Not Provoked. This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended.

12. Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centred rather than self- centred. Love says, "I love you, I want to give to you." Selfishness says, "I love you, I want you!"

13. Love does not act unbecomingly. This means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishonourably or indecently. It does not embarrass others by its action. It is characterised by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manner. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl, or offering her your arm when you walk together.

14. Lastly, Love is forgiving. This is a MUST for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is one hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been
wronged. It doesn't remain resentful.

** Remember this: Love forgets past failures and sins. **

2009-08-12T14:34:00.005+08:00

The word : L O V E

Love is like a river, always changing,
but always finding you again somewhere down the road.
Love means never having to say you are sorry.
Love is like quicksand,the deeper you fall in it,the harder it is to get out.
Love is running into his arms colliding with his heart and exploding into his soul.
Love isn't all smiles and laughs for the moment;but crying and fighting for
what you believe is right and will last forever.
Love-ing unconditional means forgiving and learning to live with his imperfections,
because in the end you'll realize that's what you love the most.
Love is just a word till someone you meet gives it a meaning.
Love is holding that special someone closely and realizing that is still isn't close enough.
Love is the greatest refreshment in life.
Love is not a matter of counting the years..but making the years count.
Love reckons hours for months and days for years and every little absence is an age.
Love alone matters
Love cures people, including the one who receives and the one who gives.
Love is a great master who teaches us to be what we never were.
Love is but a burning fire,the distance between us only increases our desire.
Love is like water; We can fall in it. We can drown in it. And we can't live without it.
Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others,
and the delight in the recognition.
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.
Love reminds you that nothing else matters.
Love is more than a feeling but a state of mind.
Love is like playing the piano.
First you must learn to play by the rules,
then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.
Love is a miracle.
Love is a language spoken by everyone but understood only by a heart.
Love works in miracles every day:
such as weakening the strong and stretching the weak;
making fools of the wise and wise men of fools,
favouring the passions, destroying reason,and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy.
Love creates us without destroying a me.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Love is like quicksilver in the hand.
Leave the fingers open and it stays.
Clutch it, and it darts away.
Love is the only kind of fire that is never covered by insurance.
Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.
Love is 3/4 dream and 1/4 reality.
Problems usually arise when you fall in love
with the dream and not the reality.
But, yet you find true love when you fall in love with both.
Love is blind only to the eyes as the heart sees everything clearly.
Love is like a bazaar,the admittance fee is free but it costs you
something when you get out.
Love is always bestowed as a gift-freely,willingly and without expectations,
we don't love to be loved but rather we love to love.
Love grows by giving,the love we give away is the only love we keep,
the only way to retain love is to give it away.
Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.
Love is an act of endless forgiveness,a tender looks that becomes a habit.
Love is an energy which exists of itself. It is its own value.
Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.
Love is not weakness. It is strong. Only the sacrament of marriage can contain it.
Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream world into reality.

Most importantly,

LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Love with all your heart.
unconditionally loving people.
is the only way to make fill your heart too :D

2009-08-08T09:38:00.010+08:00

The meaning of this word, BESTIE?

they will support you no matter what comes may.
they don't watch the time when they are listening to your problems.
they assure you that their hearts are there with you when they aren't physically there.
they tell you the truth of everything.
they depend on you trusting you are their friend.
they are dependable.
they bring you out for breather when they know you are getting out of breath.
they send porridge to your house knowing you are sick.
they send you medicine if you have none when you are sick.
they visit you when you are sick.
they call you straightaway when you tell them you are sad.
they rush down to where you are when you are lost in the midnight.
they called up people to go help you out when they can't.
they teach you when you are wrong but never condemns you.
they show you the meaning of friends.
they shower you with care even when you aren't sad or whatsoever.
they enjoy your presence.
they remember you whenever they want to do something fun.
they hug you when they see you cry.
they lend you their shoulder for you to cry.
they pat your head telling you is ok and that they are with you.
they try their best to meet your needs.
they believe in you no matter what slander comes up.
they defend for you when people talks bad about you.
they express their love through actions and words.
they tell you how they feel.
they will enter into your circle where you made for them to have protection.
they find you dependable and long to be with you forever.
they include you in as many events as possible.
they help you with your work when you need help.
they proudly presents you to their friends.
they openly say that you are their *level of friends* (bestie,gd friend or so)
they accept you for who you are and if it isn't good, they help you change.
they run the walk with you.
they hold your hands and run together.
they do not leave you behind on your own to suffer all.

# and i have found a VERY VERY VERY friend that suits ALL the above points.

&

that is no other than

SHANNON LIM PEI SHAN!

SHE IS MY GREATEST ADDICTION <3

i will be her protector,
i will be her shelter,
i will give her the best teddy hug,
i will shower her with love and care,
i will defend for her whoever dares to speak ill of her,
i will tell the world, SHE IS MY BESTIE,
i will shine like stars because that is what she hopes,
i will make her shine better than me,
i will be there for her if she needs me,
i will watch stars with her,
i will cry with her when she is sad,
i will wipe her tears and pats her head when she break down,
i will lend her my chubby and comfortable shoulder to rest on,
i will let her fall asleep on my thights,
i will see her through all the tough times,
i will be the star that protects the heart from being hurt!

2009-08-06T14:09:00.002+08:00

Sometimes going through too much aren't as good as what many think.
Though it benefits in the way I can sayang the sad souls' hearts ;
analyzing how they feel and help them find the root feeling and cause,
but it can sometimes make you protect yourself so much
that you forgot how to love.
However, for me, it is a different case.
I can still go around loving everyone,
allowing my heart to roam about the words people speaks.
That means after getting hurt so much,
I can still accept guys in my life.
Whereas many people always work according to what they see people
react when the same situation arises.

For example :
Problem : My boyfriend who i loved alot, cheat on my feelings.
Majority reaction : Very upset. Break down. Sometimes even result
in taking revenge on them. Attempting suicide to show how your emotional and
mental needs are not met and it hurts so much.
Cannot stand up from the fall because it is supposed
to be that way since I am so hurt.
Result : Sometimes you may not be as sad as you actually are.
But because of the fact that you want to show that you actually love your
boyfriend alot, so you also react like what majority do. This is to double confirm
yourself that you love your boyfriend alot, that's why you will react this way.
& at the mean time let others also see how serious the situation is.
In fact : Actually what people needed is empathy. It is not sympathy. Is like a type of comfort that they hope they can get after this that had happened. A type of console
that they hope to get to agree that that are hurt, sayang-ing them
However, the friends most of the time neglected or ignored their feelings when they
did not appear to be very upset. That's why it resulted that they will result in such
behaviors. And for worse cases, they took these action that they took as a real
deep agony is their hearts. These is even a much more severe case than
those who really am upset. Because those who really am upset, knows when
they are alright. Those who took up the reaction do not know these sadness
will stop. They tends to dwell in the matter more than those people who are truly
sad. Most of the situations in relationships(not married yet,doesn't include being raped and extreme sacrifices made) are able to be resolved when you found the right one and when the right amount of empathy is given.

It is a little complicated here and there which i do not know how to
elaborate into words. It is a type of deep felt thing which black and white
aren't easy to define.

It is something like the following steps :

If,

friends & love ones are sensitive enough to provide the empathy, attention, love and care on the problem and not belittle it.

Then,

they will not need to resort to such actions to get it.

Thereafter,

it won't be that difficult for them to come out of the situation

Which means,

It is easier for them to move on.

Results in :

Stronger friendship, healthier heart and soul.
Most importantly, MORE LIFE IS SAVED!

What do you think? (:
give me your comments (:

2009-08-05T22:53:00.002+08:00

My criteria of my boyfriend :

**very important**
# taller than me
# love me truly and wholeheartedly
# know why he loves me
# willing to change for me
# willing to do anything for me
# his world priority other than God, is me.
# don't make any promise to me unless he is sure he can fulfill.
( i rather not listen to promises than to feel the broken promise )
# believe in me NO MATTER what happens
# able to hold me when i fall
# only have me in his eyes in the sense of love
# gentleman
# accept me for who i am
# defend me when rumors arise
# hold my hand
# proud of having me as his gf
# stand up for me when people scold me or anyone look down on me
# be real and truthful to me regardless it is painful or not.
( i don't want to break any % of trust including 0.000000000000001% )
# able to support me financially
( depends on age and situation, of course. )
# have confidence in this relationship

Sorry if my criteria is so high.
i am out to look for a husband-criteria of boyfriend.
Not those normal guys i can find on orchard road,
together then break again.
hope i get all of you's understanding (:

p.s SUPER RANDOM.
p.s.p.s i don't know why, just have the feeling to do so~

2009-08-05T16:05:00.002+08:00

I seemed to be missing someone now.
Awwww~
wondering if he thinks so too.
Awwww~
Don't sound very gooood uh?
Urhmmmm.
someone is sure smiling at what i just wrote.
haas. :D
yesterday went out with L,
i thought well, it is quite nice eh?
i do hope L is happy hanging out with me.
WAHAHA XD
i feel that L is kinda accepting.
he accepts me for who i am.
it's kinda rare to me.
he is also quite kind to me la!AHAHAHA!
he actually treat me to mac though he doesn't really have money le.
isn't it sweet? (:
Awww.. *faints*

i am having hell loads of projects pouring over me.
the time is so near like thursday,friday and saturday?
i am like crying already.
my eyes are super dry making extra discomfort.
to make things worse, i am sick now.
Flu, cough, fever, sore throat & headache.
sigh! why like that?

*though you don't like housefly,
i still have to tell you i am someone who needs
many many of love, care, concern and attention*

*somehow or rather, i hope he will come and look for me*

Hamster eating popcorn on the piano

2009-08-05T16:04:00.002+08:00

Hamster eating popcorn on the piano

Posted using ShareThis

2009-08-01T00:55:00.001+08:00

how great it is when i see this (:
proud to be his friend!
ILOVEKOKKEONG!<3
it had been a long time we talked.
we had a nice & heart-heart talk.
& it really feels great to talk to him (:

I will update you guys more.
internet is so inconsistent!

2009-07-17T04:08:00.002+08:00

I am finally back from my grandfather's funeral @ Muar.
----------------------------------------------,
---------------------------.
-------------------,-
--------------------..
-----------------------------------------.
all deleted!
just like my negativity! (:
i miss cg!

That's not to say it's an easy purpose,
or a convenient one.
It might very well seem hard or even impossible,
but it only looks that way.
The truth is that one day you will look back
& see how all the pieces fit together.
And how your life has been a complete and utter success.

2009-07-12T12:32:00.003+08:00

explain
NO more!

2009-07-11T09:11:00.003+08:00

I have missed my own cg's cgm!
ZOMG. how i wish i could be there!
but ya..never mind.
i have been brooding over it for a few days though!
hahs! wonder if anyone notice i am not there. LOL.

school have been not bad..
i gotten someone to teach me POOL!
hahs! and yeah.. i want to learn pool~
so that i can play with friends! :D

i miss many people!
# bestie
# my lady
# baobei
# cg

the alas completed puzzle

is yet to be given back to the owner.

2009-07-08T23:00:00.000+08:00

5 projects in 2weeks time.
><'' stressed!
but i know i will be able to pull through it.
with Him & my hardwork.

today i met up with my crazy ah ma-ade (:
she was sick, so i met up with her
& bring my dog together for a walk(:
spoke to her.
& found out that there is a guy
who drives her to school everyday,
buy for her breakfast in the morning.
so nice and sweet right? :D
aftermath, i walked her home as she is having
tuition @ 7.30pm.
i think gonna use this to fellowship with her every evening.
get her to pray together
and really build a strong friendship (:

i won't be able to attend any cgm from mon-fri nights.
it was a pact made to my mother, to save myself
from losing my sat nights services.
i seek understanding from everyone, i believe i will be given(:

my schedule this week : mon : 9.30pm - 5pm schooling
tue : 2pm - 5pm schooling
wed : 9.30pm - 5pm schooling
thur : 9.30pm - 5pm schooling
fri : 2pm - 5pm schooling
sat : 9.30pm - 5pm schooling
sun : should be studying (see how)
(welcome to book me)

:: i am NOT and will not be an abject failure.

We all want to fall in love.
why?
because that experience makes us
feel completely alive.
where every sense is heightened,
every emotion is magnified,
our everyday reality is shattered
&
we are flying into heavens.
it may only last a moment,
an hour,
an afternoon.
but that doesn't diminish its value.
because we are left with memories that
we treasure for the rest of our lives.
Don't you think so?

2009-07-06T12:56:00.002+08:00

I am taking this lonnggg boringg break to blogg now (:
first day of school,
begins quite alrights.
hopefully my drive for studying keeps going.
even if i am tempted,
i will still come!
hmm!
& i decided to open a blogshop too.
now looking for suppliers.
& also doing my blogskin!
any lobangs,tell me k!? HAHA!

To Sandy :
Cheer up ehs! (:
kenneth and i also same uh! (:
second time sure can!
i believe!
*Champions are not those who never fail
but those who never give up!*
& i believe it will be much much better results.
don't sad okayys?(:
LOVES YOU, MYLADY! <3

2009-07-05T18:15:00.002+08:00

a sudden felt of lost-ness.
i don't know what to do.
sitting at upper boon keng road there,
block 11, under the block at the mailbox there.
as the rain hits the floor,
i began to look up to the sky,
wondering how long is a drip of rain counting from sky.
at least 15km long?
hmmm.. for sure yea?
dumb me. :D

*update more again*
*have the urge to pray now*

The water is getting harder to thread,
The sea is my heart.
Now,where is the coastal?

2009-06-29T22:16:00.004+08:00

I am back from meeting mingyao & adeline (:
GREATT.
Although it is just sitting at tpy macdonalds,
I think it is quite productive (:
I feel that the talk was kind of inspiring.
and it inspired me to work on myself(:
i have a good time with adeline and talking
to her (:
PTL.

some pictures from my birthday.

my cg.

my birthday card by BAOBEI.

my birthday present from the cg (((:
so cute right?
HAHA!

The cake i love the most! :D
credits to my ah ma adeline! (:

SEE how excited i am :DD

posing at my precious's camera!

posing at my ladyship's camera(:

2009-06-29T11:14:00.002+08:00

"it is the sincerity that counts,
rather than the action you say you want to do."

i hear of people saying they want to do
a particular thing for "Z" as they
did not this and that,
& "Z" actually tell them is ok.
but the reply Z gotten is ,"k".
perhaps you may say since Z already
say is ok, why Z still bother.
but don't you think that it is kinda
insincere when you reply with this one alphabet?
and worse of all this person is one of Z's good friend?
weird.
but i am just writing out of random. (:
no offence & no need to think to deep into what i write.
thanks =)

“难道爸爸的肩膀不够你靠吗？”

upon hearing this question a father told
his daughter,
i wept.
if only my father can help me without
asking for benefits.
if only & if only.
i don't know why,
although i forgive & trying to forget,
it still pains my heart whenever i think of it.
(: alrights.
much of random-ness.

going to meet mingyao le(:
tata~

2009-06-22T23:29:00.001+08:00

I will be going for Survivor camp
from 22 june - 25 june(:
take care my bestie as you are in malaysia!
i gonna miss you likeeeeeeeeeeee nobody business luhh!
miss me!(:
LOVES.

2009-06-20T23:59:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to Winnie!
{& that is me}
Happy Birthday to Delphine!
{& that is still me}
:D

I had a very surprising birthday this year,
by my beloved cell group. S33 (:
From the birthday bread --> birthday cake
--> birthday card --> presents!
They are surprises beyond surprises.
They make my day turns out well.
& the only ones.
other than minghua, verlin & cindy.
Thanks all of you!<3>

the one person i waited for
to sms me,
forgotten it.
but, yeah.
it's okayys(:
ever since the day
i decided to choose
Him over him.

Last year's today,
you brought me to paragon
which i have never been.
to Cold Storage to declare to your godmother
"she is my girlfriend."
you showed me around to your ex-colleagues.
you brought me to eat pepper lunch
which i have never eaten.
you held me tight.
you brought me to great world city
which was the first time i were there.
i was roaming about at Skin Couture shop.
& saying i am so in love with the clothes
you say it is not nice because it is too loud.
But you still say,"go in & see lo"
we went in and i was so high.
it was the first time i enter Skin Couture shop.
even though i heard about it before.
you say,"choose 1 lo,i buy for you."
i smiled & rejected.
i say the size don't have my size,
but actually,
i did not want you to spend so much on me,
though i really hope i own one.
you did not prepare any present,
so you ask me to choose.
being someone who is so in love with you,
i walked around hoping to ifnd something that is cheap,
but there is none.
you took me to Face Shop & as me to choose anything
i need.
but i got it all..like mascaras & rest.
is remembered you were in your black T & "ns" pants,
i was with the black & white checkered shirt & white skinnies.
i tied my hair into half remembering you saying you love it that way.
with my favourite eye-liner with my purple contact lens.
also the way you love me to be.
you took me to watch movie & my parents sent us home.
we were so happy.
or perhaps it was only me.
2009, 20.06.90, today,
you were not by my side anymore.
it had been 1 year.
i struggle it through to now.
i will not turn back to my ways anymore.
perhaps even if you say,"come back to me again."
i will not go back.
no matter how tempted i will be.
no matter how sad i will be.
whether i will regret or not.
I guess it's too late.
but guess the day you speak this way
will never come.
& i hope it doesn't come.
or i will have to go through all the pain again
& alone.

Enough of letting my memories float(:

i heard about my bestie calling up by fsmb good friends.
to my very surprise,
all of them pushed it away(:
sorry i can't give a thing to excuses like,
"oh.. i am veryyyy busy. i don't think will celebrate."
you know it yourself(:
it is not about thinking my birthday is big.
it is about the friendship we had.
someone told me,"good friends no need to contact much."
is it true?
weekly? bi-weekly? monthly?
guess you did none of it!
don't claim we are good friends if we are not.
& now i know who is my real bestie.
it makes me feel stupid to take the my "Assumed bestie"
as real bestie in the past.
ultimate disappointment!
i begin to regret believing you being real to me
when all these while you kept the way you think of me,
to yourself!
& you claim you treat me as bestie(:
thanks for it.

Enough of venting.
i just felt a little sad.
please pardon my post.
i make sure next post onwards i will lessen all these.

2009-06-17T20:52:00.002+08:00

oh oh oh!
this show is darnnnn niceeee!!
5 stars!
4 thumbs up!! ^^
it is really very nice i tell you.
FULL OF SUSPENSE.
The sound effect...
oh man!!
darnnn scaryyy!
& LOUD!
it gives you NO PREPARATION when the ghost comes out.
man man man!
you guys should watch it man!!

today bestie , adeline & me went to watch this show!
WOAH. i & bestie were like don't dare to see..
HAHA. guess bestie missed a few scary scenes.
HAHA. for me..i put my eyes between fingers,
so that it is not so naked for me..
HAHA! i really enjoyed the movie lots lots!
around 2plus, kenneth came to join us @ jp.
well..it is really a fruitful trip i should say(:
we went around shopping!
bestie at last bought sp's present..
haha! & is my lobang..
who says not nice,i boxthe person! HAHA!
& yes i got my present from bestie too..
someone's one is more expensive than mine lo!
TSk. *jealous*
nah. it's ok luhh.. haha!
anyway i quite like the one i tried.
the first one with strips one. & with the black thingy?
i think it is kinda nice though.
someone..

I WANT NICE NICE JACKET!!
i really craves Ed Hardy Boys' jacket man!
but it is very much impossible to get it for my birthday or any occasion.
which is like tarnished dreams. ):
but it's okAYY..
i wonder who & how many people will give me personal gift.
hmmm..

2009-06-17T01:44:00.002+08:00

MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP!
THIS COMING SATURDAY,20.06.09!

oh man oh man!
i am like wondering who remembers..
will it be much freezing than last year..
can't deny, i do feel kinda scared my birthday
this year will not turn out well (*:
i realllyyy hopee this year will be a nice one(:

Things i want:
# Dresses with sleeves (preferably)
# CONTACT LENS!! (1.50)
(those that can enlarge eye balls but coloured.14 diameter)
# heelssss that have stable *stick* (no covered toes pleaseee)
# nice & unique laptop bag (i think mine is 14.1?)
# laptop cooler
# eyeliner(*quickstroke* @ chameleon)
# facial package(seems impossible..hmmm)
# fat burner things
# tattoos(black or dark colour pleaseee)
# airbrush!!!!!!
# hair extenzsions
# dye hair
# eye lash extension
# threading
# backpacks that SUIT ME!!
# mirror screen protector for E71
# headset for E71(ear piece)
# new & nice tooth brush =XxXx
& UNIQUE THINGS

THE NO-OOOs
x soft toys
x FOOD (i will kill you)
up till now is all these(:

all these i am stating are the varieties only..
so yea(:
MAY MY 19th BIRTHDAY BE GREATTTT~!

2009-06-17T00:54:00.004+08:00

as promised, i will blog tonight(:
the trainging was dragged to saturday morning
10.30am. so ya..
i went down to bugis
to meet bestie & her girl-friends.
they are none other than :
# GUILING
# JANE
beginning i think it was really bored,
but in the end it turns out the other way round.
they are really nice people i should say..
i am glad that they laugh at the things i say..
because you know you know..
nowadays,humans are hard to please!
even to make them smile or laugh,
it is soooo tough!
whenever i tell a joke,
the typical people will give me that *sarcastic face*
then i like everything 冷掉 Zzz
even i myself also freeze.
jokes i said were jokes i think was funny,
& i laugh when people tell me.
this shows i am more easily satisfied?
HAHA. LOLS.
shannon managed to buy her
skinnies, shorts & top if i am not wrong. =x
jane bought her high waist short(forced by guiling=x)
dress , belts & more.
& guiling bought NOTHING *laughs*
haha! she is really funny.
she bought the ice-cream, 3 scoops @ $3..
she was like darn excited.
then came out it more reallyy small scoop..
then jane says she kena *corned*. HAHA.
jane is going to chiong her tiramisu tonight..
good luck,girl! :D
hopefully all her friends love it(:
can success de la!!(((:

i am looking forward to tomorrow's movie
with bestie, adeline & GCB(:
we gonna watch "Drag me to hell"!!
oh man! i wanna like watch it even before it is in threatreS!
& i am going to watch it tomorrow!
超 HIGH !!
i gonna be back to tell you guys how i rate the show(:
oh man.. it is so late now..
*yawn*
& i miss S33(:
looking forward to SOS & service.
i tell you!
I AM MISSING CELL GROUP MEETINGS!!
had been craving for it.. like so longgg DDD:
i want cell group meetings.
& another thing is BIBLE STUDY CLASSES.
due to school,i skipped the past signed up classes.
which is like Zzzz..
gonna start chionging.

i miss hershey pie again.
but today i held that temptation.
how long can i hold on?

2009-06-16T12:16:00.002+08:00

suddenly i feel like putting up this picture(:
this was when i went for Mingyao's wedding(:
First time wearing dress.
i know it is kinda low cut..
but at that age of mine,
everything was fine.
only until now,
i start to feel awkward..
which i think should be another round..=x
it is still my black hair(:
very first time to really make over.
but in the end didn't really come out well..
which is like..
Zzzzz.

update more tonight(:

2009-06-15T19:53:00.005+08:00

Isn't this kinda cool?
my cat actually catch the mouse in my computer!
haha! XD
darn funny i tell you.
my cat's name is called 招财 (:
a name given by my mother.
heh! he really sleeps like a 招财猫 i tell you!
click and view it! :D

today i had been slacking at all.
bored bored bored i tell you!
i received like NO message except xuebin
asking me for wishes =.=
no one ask me out or whatever.
so basically i went to sleep till around 5plus.
reallyy nothing to do.
then i woke up watch tv, eat & internet now.
ya.. so today is like a waste of time home..
someone please take me out! :(((
tomorrow i will be going for a training for
tuition coordinator @ city hall @ 3.30pm..
hopefully i can really earn alot of money from it.
i believe God will prosper me,
just needa have faith & do it(:

OH YES. i forgot to update last saturday's service's situation!
i got to know a few friends..
like victoria..jazzarel..leo..han qin.. (*:
victoria & jazzarel are from heart of God..
& han qin is a christian that seldom go church..
& he enjoyed how service!
can see he is very open(:
& to me he is quite shuai! XD
HAHA! don't misunderstand hor.
purely praising... XD
^^
i tell you the service was SIMPLY WONDERFUL!!
many artistes were here man!
artistes like :

F.I.R(darnn loud & nice!!全场HIGH!)
LIU GEN HONG(muscularrr)
MILK(cuteeee)
VANESSA WU(shuaiiiiii)
Sandra(MISS INDONESIA-very gorgeoussss)
Celest Foo(MISS CHARISNA & more-prettyyyy)
Ocean(soothing voiceeeeee)

& more i can't remember the name =XxX

i really enjoyed the service!
Glad Ah Sheng & the rest also enjoyed too(:
those who never turn up or rejected my invite,
it is really something you never wanted to miss! (:

i won't let my past memories with you
destroy my relationship with Him.
yes i still miss you.
but like my bestie say,
you are not worth my love.
you wasn't there when i needed you.
although i know you tried to do something
to change in the past without telling me.
although that time i had a boyfriend,
& did not experience it,
regret about it..
i will still not go back to you again..
我很清楚的知道。。
你对于我已不是爱。
我不会再忍你摆布。。。
take care.
no matterrrr how tempted i am,
i will still not go back..
no matter how painful it it,
He will heal me..
"is okayy,delph!" said myself.

2009-06-14T22:58:00.014+08:00

wonderful day that i had,i should say(:
i went to do charity work at vivo city
called [[ Step Up]].
it means to step on the stepping machine?
yeah(: & if you got step and is below 500 steps,
you will get a notebook..
if you get 500 steps.you get something like stationary kit.
if you get 1250steps, you will get a TEDDY BEAR(:
& guess what?
I GOTTEN 3 BEARS & 1 STATIONARY KIT!
shocked? ^^
it is kind of a hard work i should say..
all these steps are to be done within 10minutes..
but after that you can still cont. if you want(:
can you believe a 85kg girl can step like 1316 x 2= 2732steps?
1316 for one foot..so x2 (:
& that is me! XD
i should say i am proud of myself(:
i never had such wonderful results in my life before..
& i am simply excited about it! :D

LOOK!this are the peeps who went down for the charity(:
they are none other thannnnn.....
the hunks & babes of S33(:
*applause*Sp, eve,bryan, shannon,wilson & me..

still the same mighty us! HAHA!

guess what?!

we gotten ourselves 10 bears, 5 stationary kits & 1 notebook!

isn't is GREAT??!?! :DDDDD

1 bear = at least 1250 steps x 2 =2500 steps
we have 10 that means 2500 x 10 = 25,000steps..
1 stationary kit = at least 1000 steps x 2 =2000 steps
we have 5 that means 2000steps x5 =10,000 steps
1 notebook = less than 500 count as 499 (:
so as 5 people in lowest estimation total :
we stepped at least : 25,000+10,000+499 = 35,499!
*clapppps*
in average one person is 7,100!!
BRAVO RESULTS! :DDD

wanna take a look at me during the step up?
all candids!

jiayou baobei!(:

hao lei o!! jiu ming!!

my timing!! HOHO XD! fast lea!^^

脚酸了！！

purfect me! ^^
an 85kg girl had did her best! (:

how do i look? HAHA!! XD.
beginning i felt i was super *under-dress* for this sporty event lo.
almost did not participate..
then get to know that wearing slippers also can..
so i went.. haha!
i went for 4 rounds.
which means 40 mins!
ROARS! haha! 累死了！(:
but a very fulfilling one XD
不要看不起肥妹哦！^^

after that we went down to plaze singapura to fellowship
@ LJS (:
baobei treated me 3pcs chicken double fries! thanks!(:
& on the way,
baobei, bestie & me were camwhoring about.. haha!
you all shall see(:
let the photos speak of the love we have <3>

bestie & me <3>

iloveher!

3 single eye lids girls(:

three babes with teddy..

still loving it!

my little house..

what are you dreamning of,my princess s?

baobei with the *zao pai* pose!

i wanna be a "Sea princess" said baobei!

i just want to be a human!said shannon

the 3 ultimate babes

charles angels with one extra! HAA! jkjk =x

bestie & me loves

us again! getting exciteddd?

do rae me.

the do re me sisters

baobei& bestie

the double Bs

2009-06-12T06:00:00.000+08:00

NOW IS 5.45AM !
& iam finally done with my blogskin liao(:
How do you think of it?
PLEASE COMMENT(:

i spent all my time doing this blogskin..
throughout the night.
& i am still like an owl(:
isn't it like coool?
haha! XD
i had always been sleeping like 12am-2pm..
but today i guess even until the dawn breaks,
i will still be energised.
guess i gonna start preparing to go for PM later.
i am excited for SOS this evening! HOHO!

noww... let the pictures speak..

The 3 single eye lids.

The 3 fair ladies.

The love story of shannon and delphine begins...

delphine kissed shannon...

feeling loved,
shannon gave delphine a kiss too<3

thinking somebody may be looking,
they turned back and smile.
ACT BLUR =X

because they cannot kiss anymore,
they EMO :D

2009-06-11T20:26:00.002+08:00

i am back.. (:
wow.. it had been like 21 days
that i left this blog unattended.
so here i am. reviving it..
i had been lazy to on my laptop. =X

so.. let's start..
it will all be what i can recall ok?(:
bear with me uh(:

i am thinking of changing my blogskin..
hmmm(: should i?
GIVE ME YOUR COMMENTS :D

looking from my last post..
i thank God for holding me through (:
i was really on the verge of leaving..
but,
my brain and heart is cling-ed to Him.
these sentence just somehow floats in my mind..
"It is Him i love, the one i seek,
it is not Him who disappoint me."

i feel that He was speaking to me,
"Stay on, my precious. All these are meant
to test how much you love Me.
you have your own wrongs,
repent and seek after Me,
for I will refresh your mind,
heart & soul. Cling on to Me..
Lean not on your own understanding."

and yes i made a choice.
i've chose to cling on to the things
i believe in.
i clearly know in my heart
who i love, what i want and the answer
is Him (:

so in the end i went back.
i knew i was wrong to not account.
i knew i was wrong to rely on others
on that problem..
i knew i had to have a change of mindset.
yes i will (:
and it is still in process (:
i know i will and i can.

now i am looking for jobs..
many places don't accept my request
because i can only work till 5 july ):
ya.. and now i am waiting for pending work..
i pray that the person will call back by tomorrow..
please please!!

^^ i doing blogskin.
update more later..

2009-05-20T11:55:00.000+08:00

This marks the end.

2009-05-20T10:19:00.002+08:00

Mind over matters

If you don't mind,it don't matters!

how true can this quote be?

i guess i have been minded with many things.

and some things and people are just

simply redundant,perhaps.

everything mattered because i cared.

isn't it?

if people are just like *strangers*or *enemies*,

why would i give a damn to even what they think?

but still, sometimes, it is simply ME being so persistent.

and now everything seems useless.

in MIA (:

2009-05-18T12:01:00.002+08:00

You say: 'It's impossible'
God says: All things are possible

You say: 'I'm too tired'
God says: I will give you rest

You say: 'Nobody really loves me'
God says: I love you

You say: 'I can't go on'
God says: My grace is sufficient

You say: 'I can't figure things out'
God says: I will direct your steps

You say: 'I can't do it'
God says: You can do all things

You say: 'I'm not able'
God says: I am able

You say: 'It's not worth it'
God says: It will be worth it

You say: 'I can't forgive myself'
God says: I Forgive you

You say: 'I can't manage'
God says: I will supply all your needs

You say: 'I'm afraid'
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear

You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'
God says: Cast all your cares on ME

You say: 'I'm not smart enough'
God says: I give you wisdom

You say: 'I feel all alone'
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you

Do you know what i am trying to bring across?

Who else can be of such great love?

He lifts people up when people are down,

colours people's life when it is black & white,

turns the frown upside down,

give you the thnigs you yearn for,

give you rest when you are tire out,

accompanies you when you are alone,

forgive you from the tiniest-->largest sin you commited,

sets you free with truth,

& agape (:

Even if you search the whole world,

you can never find a love comaprable to His.

2009-05-18T11:55:00.002+08:00

1 DON'T SLEEP WITH A WATCH on your wrist.
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.

2 DON'T SLEEP WITH Your BRA on.
Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer. So go to bed without them.

3 DON'T SLEEP near a PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible from you.Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phones and television sets emit magnetic waves when used. These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system. Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.

4 DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE-UP ON
People who sleep with make-up on might have skin problems in the long run. Sleeping with make-up on will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring. You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.

Lastly.....

5 DON'T SLEEP WITH somebody else WIFE or HUSBAND
You may never wake up again.

This is simply so joke.
hahas, but it is better to take precautions :D

2009-05-14T15:00:00.000+08:00

"for the success you ever had,
you really did it.
by denying the talent and gift you have,
is denying the people who support you."

I told myself this :
Not being the best french horn in the world
is not that important.
It is when i lose the confidence of blowing my french horn
that is the scariest.

I want to be rich.
very rich..
extremely rich...
everytime i think about how my friends,
my family and me struggling with money..
i tell myself i want to be rich.
of course in the right and proper way.
i hope everytime i see my loved ones have
financial problems,
just one word and i can help them out.
that is my dream,
my hope
& my wish.

all these days.
i cannot deny i felt kinda lonely.
during the days i am unwell,
my phone can't be used.
i am simply unwell to blog.
nowadays my mum is out to work for a few days.
my father is also working too.
and when i go home..
the house is so chilly.
no one seems to be there..
i always wait for my phone to have calls and sms-es.
but at times i am disappointed without fail.
i sit down on my bed..
wondering who is thinking about what i am doing..
couldn't guess who did..
i told myself..at least the Almighty do.
i smiled and teared.
not wanting to further sympathise myself.
the only way is to pray and sleep.
only then my heart can be put to rest.
worries upon worries.
burdens upon burdens.
how many "are you ok?" do i want to hear?
i don't want to be said as
immature ;
emotional ;
spiritual no good ;
things like that..
although many did not sound out how they felt about me.
i can feel.
it is not wrong of course.
just that i am trying hard to change myself,
to change the way people think of me.
people say..
the most important thing is how you see yourself.
but i guess it isn't very effective though.
i may think myself as beautiful.
but many may not.
perhaps even in return they may
think i am being proud? BHB?
sorry to be so negative right now.
but being through all these,
i have already done my best.
seeing my loved ones going one by one..
who can deny i have out in alot of effort?
i need strength.
which does not purely comes from Him.
i need it from people around me.
people, you know what you mean to me.
by the way i treat you,
the enthusiasm i have.
s-t-r-e-n-g-t-h ,
do you know how to give me these strength?
(': its ok.
i will go back home and pray up later.
will be fine after that.
its gonna be a brand new day tomorrow.
yeah.i know..
change my words,change my life.
i will.
despite all these negative thinkings,
i still believe God has greater things for me to accomplish.
take care guys.

To bestie:
cheer up ok? (:
sometimes when things just seem caving in,
think of me..
think of God..
i will never let go of you..
never look down on you..
support you always..
just a word or call from you,
i will put down everything on hand and listen to you.
this is how important you are.
let the love of the right friends
VS
the wrongs of the wrong friends.
you are kept in my daily prayer.
you are more than what you think you can do.
i believe, always been.

ai qing hen qi guai.

wo ai de que he wo cha sheng er guo.

er wo bu ai de que zai wo sheng bian zhuan rao zhe.

nan dao wo yong yuan dou zhi neng kan zhe

zi ji ai de ren de bei ying ma?

2009-05-13T10:54:00.002+08:00

One by one..
one by one....

Someone just text me to :

Do not disturb.

i have been very burden about certain things..

ya..burden..worried..upset..

but guess its not time for emotions.

we gotta crack our mind to

stand up for the things we love,

the things we guard for,

the things we believed in.

i have to be tactful of what i write in this post

because of my emotions and direct-ness.

and also how others may interpret it.

i have write and editted this post for more than 10 times.

cooling myself with dramas.

-laughs-

it's gonna ok.

i gotta believe.

everyone will make it.

things will change.

it will never be the same.

instead of standing here and get emo.

i am starting to crack my mind.

though i know my focus should be studies.

i will.

but not in the expense of losing the family.

i hope "family" is not just a name.

like the red t-shirts we had.

"Not just a name"

i will pray & seek Him for guidance.

it can never go that way.

never.

i will not allow.

no way! >=B

do anyone knows why some car races

need a helper to the driver?

that is because the race is not like F1,

long and smooth road..

there may be sand..slides or more danger,

the driver needs to be focused.

without a helper who knows well of the road,

how do the driver win the race?

read between the lines (:

for all these msn hack-in and tagboard spam.

June admitted it is her who do it.

however, i think it is not that simple.

i believe that man is guilty for it.

though i do not know why is he helping him.

i come give a damn now.

June, thanks for all your doings.

i am utterly disappointed.

I never once looked down on you when i saw

you doing those things.

taking care of you when you were drunk.

standing up for you in school when i heard someone

talk bad about you.

and this is what i get(:

thanks so much. but don worry.

it wun affect me much.

because from now on, you are never even in a corner of my eye.

it is not about unforgiveness.

but it is over.

i have forgiven.

and i want to forget.

i made a choice.

it is all over between us.

& stop taking my truthfulness for granted.

thanks.

suddenly these words ring my mind:

We need to start solving the toughest problem.

Although it may take alot of time,

but we still have to carry hope for the future.

It is the trials and tribulations

that we become grown up.

do you agree?

2009-05-11T10:35:00.003+08:00

i am back at last.
to my homely blog of mine.
*wipe dust away*

i had been sicked for the past one week.
And over here i want to thank a few people (:

1) Jesus

By His love, grace and mercy,
I am healed.
My medicine can only last me for 5 days,
but after 5 days,
my throat is still swollen.
And i really feel very uneasy,
and miraculously by God,
I am healed by 80% already.
It is all done by :
-Visualize
-Confess
-Believe
I had been scolding and casting Satan out of my body.
Getting angry with Satan.
and keep on speaking the promises of God.
God is Jehovah Rapha.
HE will heal me,
perhaps not directly,
but through people around me and slowly His healing unfolds.

2) Ming hua
He was the one who brought me to doctor
at marine parade there.
Really thank God that he was in my life.
He had always been the one who helps me in terms of need.
No amount of words can express how much gratitude
i have towards you.
Thanks so much. (:
If not for you, i won't even start recovering.

3) My mother and father
Thank them for being around with me,
supporting me..
although there is alot of nags,
but i felt the warmth,the care.
thanks so much.
it brought me to a question,
"If my parents are not around already,how?"
guess i will really cry and become very empty
out of a sudden.
i am used to hearing,"WINNNNNNNNIEEEEE!"
smiles on their faces always makes my day.
having their agreement and permission sets me free.
i love them and there is just so much that
i want to do for them.
I really love love them.
I want to give them a good life.
I want to show them i am never the same.
actually,i was never the same.
seriously.
i want to work hard in both my studies and work
to show my gratitude.
yes,i will.

4) Mingyao (my CGL)
Thanks for his care and concern (:
I don't know why,but always i have
a strong urge to be there to support
him. whether as a member-leader
or a friend. but this had been in me,
the moment I made a decision to commit.
The reason why i commit is not being
forced or "brain-washed".
It is the presence,i do not know how
to explain.
When i see people speaking unnice
things of him, i got provoked.
In the inside,there is so much i want to stand
up for him,i did la. HAHA! :D
When i hear things from him,
it always makes me think,
look for solutions and really try things out.
Although many a times,
i really hope that i will be praised by him personally,
i know he is not a very expressive person.
so,yeah. i believe and trust in the friendship we have.
he can see it and know it even if he don't say it.
i always believe in one thing.
I will not go against God anointed leaders. never.
instead,i will go all out to support and help.
I know he had been stressed with things..
sadly i can't really do anything to help him.
anyway i am not mature enough to say or comment luhh.
i just listen,think and try to resolve.
Mingyao had been really caring.
He sent me home from east coast that day
when i was sick. spoke to parents.
disciplining me.. i cannot deny,
i do not detest discipleships.
i want to grow. spiritually strongly.
and i want to become a better person.
God speaks to me through him.
almost all the time.
I thank him for all that he had done.
thanks alot,mingyao.

2009-05-04T20:17:00.002+08:00

I am sick.
shall update again.
nites friends. (:
ILYA~

2009-05-02T09:58:00.003+08:00

TO : FAKE SANDY

Do you see how UNWELCOME are you here?
My blog is for the entrance of decent people.
And of course, people above average.
You may be rich, think you are nice looking,
BUT.
It just show how ugly you are.
You are just like a clown..
Making up to be nice,
but deep inside,
ugly ;
evil ;
hypocrite ;
stereotype-r ;
liar ;
actor ;
& actress ;
so much more i don't wish to say (:

I shall say this to whoever you are :
I SMILE LIKE A GLITTERING-STAR,
LOOK LIKE A SHINING-STAR,
PLAY LIKE AN ALL-STAR.
yeah, that's me.

i don't give a damn whether you think so.
but, i know my friends do.
and very clear-cut,
you are not my friend.
you can continue with your
fake smiles in front of me..
you will get back the same treatment.
perhaps not by me,
perhaps by the closest one to you.
if my "once-closest" friend can do so,
your friend can do so!
just beaware B&B! (((:

phew~
enough of bombing.
i going to make up later..
feeling so unwell..
say you love me :)
to me face to face(:

2009-04-30T10:47:00.002+08:00

天塌下来要当被盖

can i really reach this stage?
perhaps i have to try.
it is not going to be easy.
but i am going to try it.
when the roof caves in,
i take it as a blanket that i put on.

many things are going into my mind.
many "why"s ..
but is it wanted?
needed?
yearned for?
haiz.
i am tired.
i couldn't sleep well for the past few days..
running a fever..
having a painful throat..
that "thing" that bloat at my throat
gets painful again.
=(
='(
><
-_-
;-.-:

2009-04-28T21:00:00.000+08:00

_|_ to the person who hack into my msn!

you better be careful!
don't wait until i retaliate then you
chua sai!
不要我没发挥，
你把我当病猫！
two-faced dragons.
i don't know why on earth
i met such people in life.
thanks for showing your true colours!
now i know who is right and who is wrong.
and just want to tell you guys,
if your intention is to get me in trouble with
the people you msn-ed,
i am proud to say,
" YOU F-A-I-L-E-D! "
-laughs-
just right,
the one whom you msn-ed are
either clear of my character or quite clear!
a.h!gafyml!
you better don't let me find out..
or else (:

suddenly i am dilemma.
and i feel like saying this,
"God will settle you for me,He will defend for me."
just watch it (: "
you will not have a good ending,i promise.
*shakes grudges off*
*stop making me sin*
ARGH.

but i will smile all the way,
you guys don't deserve what i am.

2009-04-27T22:48:00.002+08:00

人心难测。。
有时你以为没人注意你。。
所以什么都不管。。
其实在你背后，
人家都把你批评得一文不值。。
恐怖啊。。
人心险恶。。

i have always thought that my school is ok..
recently i just found out that
some people may appear very ok with you,
actually they think bad of you,
and speaks ill of you behind your backs.
*scary*
luckily i only once mix with a "good friend".
don't even know did she tell out my secrets.
guess i have trusted people too easily..
now i learnt to be wise.
too scary..
小心自己说的话。。
空气有耳朵。。

2009-04-26T22:11:00.000+08:00

I enjoyed the trip i had with S33!
Today we have a "cell group meeting"
in East Coast.
A cycling session.
Austin and Jovonne do not know how to
cycle..
We had one couple bike,
so i cycled Jovonne around..
Mingyao and Justin were teaching Austin
how to cycle..
And because of their patience and love,
Austin learnt how to cycle!
He mastered it!
PTL! <3
He always make things work! (:
Today even rained!
and yeah.
A place of agreement is a place of power.
S33 is really very united!
like people wearing shoes,
and there was a flood,
free delivery of human!
hahaha :D
and minghua bought us like 3 boxes of munchees!
and i bought "cupcup noodles" for my precious.
although i am the most drenched,
i felt fulfillment.
seeing the smiles and safety of them,
it warms my heart.
it feels like no matter how wet and cold i am,
their smiles and safety play a part as a candle
that warms my heart..
i love the unity we have.
everyone is so gel-ed together.
=^^=

I want to cable skate!
one round - $9
(but it is regardless where you fall,
even if you fall at the starting point leh)
one hour - $37 (student rate)
one hour - $42 (adult rate)

Someone sponsor me go leh!! (:

2009-04-26T20:54:00.001+08:00

The Enneagram Type Indicator Sampler Results
(RHETI Version 2.5)

Questionnaire Date Sun Apr 26 07:53:26 2009

The following numerical scores are calculated from your answers to the Sampler questionnaire. If you have answered honestly and accurately, your basic personality type should be one of the top three scores. (You might want to print out this result; if you do not, you will have to retake the Sampler if you want these scores later since they are not saved anywhere.) To confirm which type you might be, read the short type descriptions below, in the Riso-Hudson Enneagram books, or on their website at www.EnneagramInstitute.com.

You have answered all the questions -- terrific!

Type 1	Type 2	Type 3	Type 4	Type 5	Type 6	Type 7	Type 8	Type 9
2	7	2	3	2	3	8	6	3

For a more accurate and complete assessment of your personality type, take the full RHETI online at The Enneagram Institute website.

For more information about interpreting your RHETI scores (both from this short Sampler and from the full RHETI), click here. For more information about the Enneagram and how to use it for your personal growth, please see the Riso-Hudson best-selling books, The Wisdom of the Enneagram and Personality Types � the two most complete and in-depth books in the Enneagram field. For advanced materials about the Enneagram system, recommendations for growth for each type, and how to distinguish between types, see Understanding the Enneagram , and for resources for your ongoing personal growth, see Enneagram Transformations. For the RHETI in book form, see Discovering Your Personality Type which also includes a short history of the Enneagram, type descriptions, and interpretative materials. For a complete listing of The Enneagram Institute�s books, audio tapes, printed Enneagram tests, and other Enneagram materials, click here.

Please remember that unlike the full RHETI, the Sampler is NOT scientifically validated. We cannot guarantee the accuracy of the results of this personality analysis. Click here to take the full, scientifically validated RHETI.

Type Descriptions

Type One
The Reformer. The principled, idealistic type. Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic.

Type Two
The Helper. The caring, interpersonal type. Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.

Type Three
The Achiever. The adaptable, success-oriented type. Threes are self-assured, attractive, and charming. Ambitious, competent, and energetic, they can also be status-conscious and highly driven for advancement. They are diplomatic and poised, but can also be overly concerned with their image and what others think of them. They typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness. At their Best: self-accepting, authentic, everything they seem to be�role models who inspire others.

Type Four
The Individualist. The introspective, romantic type. Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

Type Five
The Investigator. The perceptive, cerebral type. Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation. At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way.

Type Six
The Loyalist. The committed, security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious�running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion. At their Best: internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others.

Type Seven
The Enthusiast. The busy, productive type. Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming overextended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.

Type Eight
The Challenger. The powerful, aggressive type. Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. At their Best: self-mastering, they use their strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring.

Type Nine
The Peacemaker. The easy-going, self-effacing type. Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.